Why Do I Even Try??!!

WEEK 6 UPDATE

Despite the title to today's post, I actually had a pretty good week!  

I FINALLY was able to get to sleep at a decent time most of this week.  Although I had more hours of sleep, I think my body didn't know what to do and freaked out!  I slept more but felt so tired during the day, it was weird!  

As I mentioned in my Week 5 video update, I feel like my poor bedtime habits lead to fatigue, and fatigue leads me to be more susceptible to negative self talk and decreased patience with others and myself.  Sleep Deprivation has been a serious issue with staying focused on the positive, something I just realized.  Also as I mentioned in last weeks video update, all the positive self talk and focus on goals and thinking big has led my subconscious to fight against me.  I literally can feel the tension between my conscious and subconscious as I try and convince myself that I am a person of worth and capable of anything, which is a much different story than I have been telling myself for years.

But I am Winning!

I am convincing my subconscious that I can achieve and I deserve success!  One of my most effective tools has been my self affirmation statement (check out my earlier post on how to write an Affirmation statement).  When events or interactions happen that confirm my affirmation statement, because I have it memorized now, it jumps right to my mind.  As my statement is confirmed to my subconscious I am filled with confidence and feelings of self worth!  It has been a very interesting and fulfilling occurrence.

I continue to read, meditate on goals, and repeat my self affirmation statement every morning.  By far meditation is the hardest!  My mind is so hard to quiet and focus, and it needs some hard core training and discipline!

Despite my progress and achievements, everyday I have to fight negative emotions, feelings of despair, downer self talk, and the reoccurring question of "Why Try"!???

This question crops up into my mind often.  I often question myself: why am I doing all of this work? Why do I keep trying to pass my boards exam?  Why do I get up early and work late?  Is it worth trying to do this blog and achieve crazy goals? I hate asking myself these questions, but I feel like they are a manifestation of my subconscious that is trained to push me down and take my course away from my personal legend and goals.  Keeping focused on my goals and what I can do for my family and others gives me the courage and determination to keep going!

Every Day is a battle, but because I have goals and dreams I am working for, it makes it all worth the Fight!

This Weeks Goal: Give yourself a reason to keep going, and focus on that reason like it was the air you breathe